dietchola:

phoenix-falls:

dietchola:

if i had a dollar every time one of my relatives asked me if i had a boyfriend i would be crying in a pile of money

me too and they know I’m a lesbian 

oh my god

(via excusemejesus)

brie3po:

janebuzjane:

thoughtkiller:

clavid:

eloquentvibes:

clavid:

on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

one crack cocaine

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

debit or credit

I actually have a gift card

(via reggiemoo)

nylooms:

tupacabra:

image

it’s a metaphor

The best part is that the crab is the symbol for the zodiac sign Cancer, so in a way even the crab itself is a metaphor

(via reggiemoo)

seriousjones:

cyberpapi:

wrestling with your girlfriend is a cute experience that everyone should try

tfw no gf

image

(via reggiemoo)

ulyssee:

cigs4kids:

what if grass licked your feet when you stepped on it

i would do a split

(via psyducked)